NEWS

I do have news!

So like, 5 minutes ago I took this 'are you over him' quiz, WHICH I NORMALLY WOULDN'T HAVE TAKEN IF I WASN'T REALLY BORED. and I answered completely honestly, AND LOOK AT THIS:

Your score is 50. While it seems you've let go and accepted that your relationship is over you clearly aren't yet over the loss of love. It's left a void in your life that you're not sure you can fill. Don't worry, once you've really moved on that void will somehow fill itself. Rest assured that you're well on your way to letting go once and for all. Good for you, you've let the healing begin!

I'VE LET THE HEALING BEGIN! YAYYYY ME!

And the truth is, really, I don't think about him much anymore. Except for now of course, but I'm writing about him so it doesn't count. I'm starting to think about new relationships, and new possiblilites. I've gotten to the point where I've kind of accepted the fact that we'll probably never speak to each other again.

I realized that I never missed him...I only missed the way I felt when I was with him. It was like the feeling and him were completely intertwined, and I couldn't differentiate between the two. But now that he's gone, I mean, I still don't have that feeling, but I realized I don't need him to get that.

What was that feeling anyways? I don't think it was love, we weren't close enough for that. Infatuation, maybe? It was something past friendship and before love...I'm not quite sure what that is.

But the point is, whatever it was can be achieved again. He isn't the only person in the world who will make me really....feel again. I got so caught up in that feeling, and I wanted it back so much that I couldn't see straight.

It wasn't him. It was never him.

And that has been my revelation of the day. Or of 5 minutes ago.

Thoughts?

another quiz (since I have nothing to write about)

Have you ever felt like you literally needed someone?
all the time, unfortunately.

Is there anything in your past that you'd like to try again?
of course! but I can't, so it's pointless to regret things.

Are you afraid to fall in love?
the opposite. i'm too willing to fall in love.

Who/what are you thinking about right now?
how boring my life is right now.

So, do you have blue eyes?
I wish.

Is there any alcohol in the fridge?
some beer maybe. nothing good.

When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face?
right now. at this very moment.

Has anyone told you they missed you lately?
steyecy!

Have you broken the law in the last 3 days?
I break the law EVERY day. I'm just a rebel like that.

Were you mad when you woke up this morning?

I was sick, so I was mad...does that count?

How did you get your last bruise?
I have no idea, and it's been frustrating me.

What’s more important, trust or happiness?
I think both are essential.

Can you walk in heels?
it depends how high they are.

Do you wonder "what if" a lot?
much more than I'd like to.

Have you ever forgiven someone more times than you should have?
Gahhhh. Story of my life.

Do you think it's okay for girls to have new boyfriends every other week?
I think it's stupid. AND THE SAME GOES FOR BOYS.

Do you feel like you're not good enough?
Sometimes.

Is there someone that you can go to in sweats, hair a mess and still feel comfy?
Yep, lots of people.

When did you last straighten your hair?
hmm...10th grade, maybe?

Could things possibly get any better?
I really, really, hope so.

Have you ever copied someone else's homework?
Molly's math homework. But we switch off copying each other's homework, so it evens out.

Last person you talked on the phone with?
Probably Natey.

Where was your default picture taken?
At a random army store on Hollywood Blvd. Hahaha

Is there anybody you're disappointed in right now?
Myself?

If you are being extremely quiet what does that mean?
I'm probably really tired.

Are you happy?
I'm bored.

Are you a morning person or a night person?
I'm an early evening person.

Have you made a mistake this past week?
Yes.

Do you know anyone with the same name as you?
There's a whole group of Marlee's on facebook. Does that count?

When was the last time you really laughed?
Like, 5 minutes ago watching Collin and Molly's french video.

Have you ever been involved in a high speed car chase?
YES, AS A MATTER OF FACT I WAS INVOLVED IN 19 TODAY. HOW DID YOU KNOW?

Do you own a skateboard?
Hahahaha jokes.

Which shoe do you put on first?
Left, I think?

Do you think your life story would make a great movie?
My life story would be a great dramedy.

If you could pick someone to just "disappear" and nobody would care... who?
I think by now anyone who is reading this should know who.

What is bothering you right now?
Prom zomgggg.

Have you ever read an entire book in one day?
Loads of times!

Look in your inbox, who do you have texts from?
Tricia, Benjo, Michelle, Molly

Do you sleep with one leg out from under the covers?
It depends if my room is 100 degrees or 0 degrees.

How many hours did you sleep last night?
Well, I went to bed at 7, and woke up at 9...so too many.

What's the worst thing that happened to you today?
Being sick?

Does any part of your body hurt right now?
my head and my throat gahh

How many pictures do you have saved on your computer?
You don't actually expect me to go and count them, do you?

Are you afraid of roller coasters?
Some. I don't like big drop roller coasters.

Hate letters 2

Since I loved writing the hate letters a couple months ago, I decided I'd do it again.

Dear,

Jason: WTF. THAT TEST WAS SO HARD. AND IT DIDN'T MAKE ANY SENSE. AND WHY DID YOU GIVE US A NEW PROJECT? THAT'S SO RETARDED. WE'RE 3RD TRIMESTER SENIORS. WE DON'T GET WORK. GET OVER IT.

Plane Guy: WHY HAVE YOU NOT E-MAILED ME SO I CAN PROVE THAT YOU ARE NOT A PEDOPHILE? ARE YOU REALLY THAT BUSY? AND WHY DOES IT SAY YOU HAVEN'T PASSED THE CALIFORNIA BAR EXAM. YOU CAN'T BE A LAWYER WITHOUT PASSING THAT, DIPSHIT.

Jeff: STOP YELLING AT ME FOR NOT WRITING MY YEARBOOK STORIES I'M WORKING ON IT.

Freshmen and Sophomores who I sent the group study message to: OH, SO NOW YOU DECIDE TO REPLY. AFTER WE CHANGE THE STORY. GOOD JOB. REALLY CONVENIENT.

Dorian: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY HERE. FUCK YOU.

Fishville: WTF STOP CHANGING AND MAKING ALL MY FISH DIE OR BECOME SICK. HOW DO FISH EVEN BECOME SICK ANYWAYS? IT'S NOT EVEN POSSIBLE.

Dad: NO, THE YEARBOOK ISN'T DONE YET STOP ASKING EVERY NIGHT.

Mom: STOP TELLING ME YOU THINK I HAVE AN EATING DISORDER IT'S STUPID AND I DON'T I JUST SLEPT THROUGH DINNER CALM DOWN I GOT FOOD AFTER I WOKE UP.

Rob: IT WOULD BE REALLY CONVENIENT IF YOU WOULD EMAIL ME ABOUT MY SENIOR INITIATIVE. IT WOULD BE USEFUL NOW. WTF IS TAKING YOU SO LONG?

XM Radio: IF YOU DO NOT STOP PLAYING BREAKEVEN BY THE SCRIPT, I WILL PERSONALLY MURDER YOU.

Mike: SO YOU HAVE A NEW GIRLFRIEND NOW, HUH? WELL THAT'S FANTASTIC. SHE LOOKS LIKE AN UGLY VERSION OF YOUR SISTER, JUST FYI. AND THAT STUPID PROFILE WATCHER THING YOU POSTED ON MY WALL. NOT GOOD. I HATE YOU. YOU ARE A MANWHORE. AND EVERYONE KNOWS IT. I'M GOING TO START AN 'I HATE MIKE' CLUB AND EVERYONE IS GOING TO JOIN. OH AND BTW, IF YOU'RE A HEARTLESS JERK DON'T JOIN THE GROUP I HATE WHEN GIRLS STEREOTYPE GUYS AS HEARTLESS JERKS. IT'S HYPOCRITICAL. SO STOP THAT. AND THANK YOU FOR BREAKING THE BIRTHDAY TRADITION. EVEN IF I DID DELETE YOU ON FACEBOOK, YOU SHOULD HAVE CALLED ANYWAYS. EVEN THOUGH I PROBABLY WOULDN'T HAVE ANSWERED. BUT MAYBE I WOULD HAVE. AND I'M NOT STALKING YOU. SO STOP THINKING THAT. EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVEN'T DIRECTLY TOLD ME THAT. AND I HATE YOU. A LOT. HAVE I MENTIONED THAT? STOP MAKING ME CRY WHEN I LISTEN TO SAD SONGS. FUCK YOU. GO DIE IN A HOLE. OH WAIT, YOU LIVE IN LOS FUCKING ALAMITOS. OKAY THEN I GUESS YOU CAN JUST STAY THERE IN THAT LITTLE HELL HOLE.

Felicia: FUCK LOGS NOBODY LIKES THEM JUST TEACH US HOW TO USE A CALCULATOR WE DON'T NEED TO KNOW ALL THIS SHIT.

Lorraine: YOU ARE SUCH A PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE LITTLE BITCH WHO IS HORRIBLE AT TEACHING AND DOESN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT GRAPHIC DESIGN AND YOU MAKE ME HATE ART WHICH TAKES A SHITLOAD OF TALENT GOOD JOB.

The end. :)

just a regular night

Things I accomplished while Molly told me about her night over IM:

-brushed my teeth

-washed my face

-took my meds

-played three games of Text Twist

-googled Thumbelina

-read the entire Thumbelina wikipedia article

-typed 'haha' three times

-looked around room for phone charger

-realized phone charger is in my parent's room

-played one more game of Text Twist

-pondered life and the horridness of this day

-wrote this blog post

total time spent: 30 minutes

So yeah, I'd say it takes a while for Molly to tell me about her day. Hahahaha. Still love her to pieces, though.

i feel like i'm in an episode of dateline

Let me start this post off just by saying:

I am a complete and total idiot.

Okay, now that we have gotten that out the way, let me continue my story.

So, sometimes when I'm bored/lonely I ask random internet people to write me letters on Mystery Google. Now, I know by now Natey is saying WTF BAD IDEA MARLEE. I know Natey, calm down. I will explain. Usually the letters are just funny stories that make me laugh. But occasionally they're people asking for advice, or just wanting to talk. So sometimes I answer those. Okay, I lied. Most of the time I answer those. And usually we have conversations that last for like 20 minutes and then it's over and that's the end of it. I KNOW YOU THINK THIS IS WEIRD, NATEY. BUT STACEY UNDERSTANDS. IT'S NORMAL.

So two nights ago, I was having one of those similar situations. It was with this guy my age named Nick who lived in Michigan. We were just having a conversation, and the conversation just turned into questions about ourselves and blah blah blah. He didn't know my real name or anything, so I didn't think anything of it. And talking turned into a bit of flirting and STFU NATE I KNOW YOU'RE SPAZZING OUT BY NOW. So basically it was a bad idea, but I was feeling kind of sad because it was the 6 month anniversary of me not talking to the R and yeah. And then it got kind of weird. He asked about my long distance phone plan, and how he was angry that I didn't live closer, and how I felt about long distance relationships. I KNOW YOU ARE BASICALLY ON THE PHONE WITH THE POLICE RIGHT NOW, NATEY. CALM DOWN. So then I figured I should probably figure out who this guy is. So after insane google searching, because I had tried to find his facebook and failed, I finally found his facebook profile.

And let's just say.....there are few words to describe him. He reminded me of Chris Farley. Only fatter and creepier looking. NATE I KNOW YOU ARE SAYING I TOLD YOU SO BY NOW, AND I KNOW. IT WAS A TOTAL I TOLD YOU SO MOMENT. I GET IT.

And to add to all that, HE TOLD ME HE WAS A DEMOCRAT BUT HE WAS REALLY A DIE HARD REPUBLICAN.

So there are 3 lessons from this story:

1) Don't form relationships with people on Mystery Google. Unless you are Stacey, who seems to have extreme luck with finding the insane romantic cute ones.

2) If you do happen to be forming a relationship on Mystery Google, FIGURE OUT WHO THE FUCK THEY ARE FIRST. JUST A TIDBIT OF ADVICE.

3) Don't ever trust Republicans.

So now I should get back to studying for midterms. AKA watching more TV.

the quiz

Okay. So you know those quiz things that are always on facebook that you always want to do but you don't want to post it on facebook so you don't do it? I decided to do one of those. Here are my (fail) results:

Last time this year, what was your relationship status?

single.

What's making you mad at the moment?

ap environmental. and math. and boys. or lack there of.

Have you ever gone up to a car thinking it was yours, and almost got in?

like every day

What would your name be without the first three letters?

lee...hahahha

Do you want to see somebody right now?

stacey and natey! :D

Do you know anyone that smokes pot?

dude. i go to windward. duhhh.

How long was your last relationship?

WE ARE STAYING OFF THAT SUBJECT, QUIZ.

Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

it's a possibility.

Name one person you wish you could fix things with, and why?

ben and danny. I'M BREAKING THE RULES, QUIZ. I PICKED TWO PEOPLE. BECAUSE I'M A REBEL LIKE THAT.

How have you felt today?

really really tired.

Do you honestly miss someone?

QUIZ. COME ON NOW.

Would you rather get a new puppy or a new car?

neither. i love my dogs and my car already :)

Where did you get the pants you are wearing from?

forever 21, maybe?

Are you happy with life at the moment?

not really...ldsfkjdsfj

Would you date someone right now if they asked?

it depends who this someone is. THAT'S A STUPID QUESTION, QUIZ.

Do you believe that your first love can be your only love in life?

NO. ABSOLUTELY NOT. NO WAY. NO HOW. NO.

Have you ever received a call that made you cry?

i've made a call that made me cry. does that count?

If your ex said they hated you, what would you say?

figures.

What are your plans for tonight?

finishing this quiz thing. i'll figure it out after that.

This time last year can you remember who you liked?

QUIZ. WE HAVE ADDRESSED THIS SUBJECT. COME ON NOW. NO MORE OF THESE QUESTIONS.

What are you looking forward to right now?

graduation.

Do you love anyone?

my friends! :)

Do you have an older brother?

nope.

Are you too forgiving?

yes, i think so.

Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn't do?

of course.

When someone says "we need to talk", what runs through your head?

what did I do that I forgot? hahahha

Do you regret a past relationship?

I don't think so. I'm still deciding.

Does the number 18 have any significance to you?

my next birthday!

Do you have someone who you can be your complete self around?

yep yep.

Do you think relationships are hard?

yes.

Have you ever tried your hardest, then got disappointed later on?

welcome to my life.

Suppose you find out something bad happens to someone you dislike, what do you do about it?

laugh. hahahha

What are you thinking about right now?

ANSWERING THESE QUESTIONS. SINCE I'M TAKING THIS QUIZ. JEEZ, YOU'RE DENSE.

Do you own a pair of converse, vans, or any other skate shoes?

converse.

Would you kiss someone to make your ex bf/gf mad?

WTF QUIZ STOP THIS. AND YES, I WOULD THANKYOUVERYMUCH.

Have you ever been hurt by someone you never thought would hurt you?

OKAY QUIZ. NO. WE ARE DONE HERE. I AM LEAVING.

tick tock

time. is. passing. so. slowly.

something exciting happen, please?