Since I loved writing the hate letters a couple months ago, I decided I'd do it again.
Jason: WTF. THAT TEST WAS SO HARD. AND IT DIDN'T MAKE ANY SENSE. AND WHY DID YOU GIVE US A NEW PROJECT? THAT'S SO RETARDED. WE'RE 3RD TRIMESTER SENIORS. WE DON'T GET WORK. GET OVER IT.
Plane Guy: WHY HAVE YOU NOT E-MAILED ME SO I CAN PROVE THAT YOU ARE NOT A PEDOPHILE? ARE YOU REALLY THAT BUSY? AND WHY DOES IT SAY YOU HAVEN'T PASSED THE CALIFORNIA BAR EXAM. YOU CAN'T BE A LAWYER WITHOUT PASSING THAT, DIPSHIT.
Jeff: STOP YELLING AT ME FOR NOT WRITING MY YEARBOOK STORIES I'M WORKING ON IT.
Freshmen and Sophomores who I sent the group study message to: OH, SO NOW YOU DECIDE TO REPLY. AFTER WE CHANGE THE STORY. GOOD JOB. REALLY CONVENIENT.
Dorian: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY HERE. FUCK YOU.
Fishville: WTF STOP CHANGING AND MAKING ALL MY FISH DIE OR BECOME SICK. HOW DO FISH EVEN BECOME SICK ANYWAYS? IT'S NOT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Dad: NO, THE YEARBOOK ISN'T DONE YET STOP ASKING EVERY NIGHT.
Mom: STOP TELLING ME YOU THINK I HAVE AN EATING DISORDER IT'S STUPID AND I DON'T I JUST SLEPT THROUGH DINNER CALM DOWN I GOT FOOD AFTER I WOKE UP.
Rob: IT WOULD BE REALLY CONVENIENT IF YOU WOULD EMAIL ME ABOUT MY SENIOR INITIATIVE. IT WOULD BE USEFUL NOW. WTF IS TAKING YOU SO LONG?
XM Radio: IF YOU DO NOT STOP PLAYING BREAKEVEN BY THE SCRIPT, I WILL PERSONALLY MURDER YOU.
Mike: SO YOU HAVE A NEW GIRLFRIEND NOW, HUH? WELL THAT'S FANTASTIC. SHE LOOKS LIKE AN UGLY VERSION OF YOUR SISTER, JUST FYI. AND THAT STUPID PROFILE WATCHER THING YOU POSTED ON MY WALL. NOT GOOD. I HATE YOU. YOU ARE A MANWHORE. AND EVERYONE KNOWS IT. I'M GOING TO START AN 'I HATE MIKE' CLUB AND EVERYONE IS GOING TO JOIN. OH AND BTW, IF YOU'RE A HEARTLESS JERK DON'T JOIN THE GROUP I HATE WHEN GIRLS STEREOTYPE GUYS AS HEARTLESS JERKS. IT'S HYPOCRITICAL. SO STOP THAT. AND THANK YOU FOR BREAKING THE BIRTHDAY TRADITION. EVEN IF I DID DELETE YOU ON FACEBOOK, YOU SHOULD HAVE CALLED ANYWAYS. EVEN THOUGH I PROBABLY WOULDN'T HAVE ANSWERED. BUT MAYBE I WOULD HAVE. AND I'M NOT STALKING YOU. SO STOP THINKING THAT. EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVEN'T DIRECTLY TOLD ME THAT. AND I HATE YOU. A LOT. HAVE I MENTIONED THAT? STOP MAKING ME CRY WHEN I LISTEN TO SAD SONGS. FUCK YOU. GO DIE IN A HOLE. OH WAIT, YOU LIVE IN LOS FUCKING ALAMITOS. OKAY THEN I GUESS YOU CAN JUST STAY THERE IN THAT LITTLE HELL HOLE.
Felicia: FUCK LOGS NOBODY LIKES THEM JUST TEACH US HOW TO USE A CALCULATOR WE DON'T NEED TO KNOW ALL THIS SHIT.
Lorraine: YOU ARE SUCH A PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE LITTLE BITCH WHO IS HORRIBLE AT TEACHING AND DOESN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT GRAPHIC DESIGN AND YOU MAKE ME HATE ART WHICH TAKES A SHITLOAD OF TALENT GOOD JOB.
The end. :)
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