hate letters

I have decided to channel my anger into letters for the day:

So dear,

Felicia: WTF. ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME HERE? NOBODY IS GOING TO REMEMBER ALL THIS SHIT FROM BEFORE WINTER BREAK. YOU ARE CRITICALLY INSANE. WE ARE ALL GOING TO FAIL. EXCEPT CALVIN, WHO WILL RUIN THE CURVE.

Calvin: WTF WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DO SO WELL AND RUIN THE CURVE? JUST DO BADLY FOR ONCE, PLEASE.

Dorian: SAME TO YOU, YOU LITTLE PATHOLOGICAL LYING ASSHOLE. I HATE YOU. YOU'VE NEVER BEEN TO AN ORTHODOX SYNAGOGUE IN THE MIDDLE OF ARKANSAS. AND YOU'VE NEVER TALKED TO A PAGAN PRIESTESS IN A CLUB. JUST ACCEPT IT.

Jason Horn: JASON. COME ON NOW. YOU HAD TO MAKE ME WRITE A PAPER IN THE POINT OF VIEW OF A REPUBLICAN WHO DOESN'T BELIEVE IN GLOBAL WARMING? ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME GO INSANE? BECAUSE IF YOU ARE, YOU'RE SUCCEEDING. I'M REALLY LOVING RESEARCHING ALL ABOUT REPUBLICAN VIEWPOINTS. REALLY ENJOYING IT. IT'S REALLY HELPING ME OUT RIGHT NOW. FUCK YOU.

Mike: STOP LAUGHING. EVEN THOUGH YOU AREN'T REALLY BECAUSE WE DON'T TALK ANYMORE. BUT YOU WOULD BE. SO SHUT UP. YOU WOULD HAVE LOVED THIS SO MUCH. WELL GUESS WHAT? YOUR POINT OF VIEW SUCKS. THE END. YOU ARE A COMPLETE IDIOT. I AM NOT LISTENING TO YOUR SIDE ANYMORE, BECAUSE GUESS WHAT? WE DON'T TALK. SO I DON'T HAVE TO. I CAN MAKE MY REPUBLICAN SOUND AS STUPID AS I WANT HIM TO AND YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. SO THERE. AND STAY THE FUCK OUT OF MY DREAMS, YOU LOSER.

Jeff: WHY THE FUCK WEREN'T YOU IN YEARBOOK TODAY I HATE YOU I COULDN'T DO ANYTHING PRODUCTIVE THANKS A LOT.

Lindsey: YOU NEED TO STOP OVERREACTING ABOUT THE STUPID OPENING PAGE. IT'S JUST TYPE. STOP HAVING A PANIC ATTACK WE ALL AGREED IT NEEDED TO BE CHANGED.

Molly: IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO COME WITH YOU TO PARTIES ANYMORE, JUST SAY SO, DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT IT JUST MAKES ME FEEL AWKWARD AND STUPID.

John Hurwitz: JUST GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE. NOBODY LIKES YOU. YOU DON'T DO ANYTHING IN YEARBOOK. AND YOU ARE A CREEPER, SO NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU BRING IT UP I'M NOT GOING TO APOLOGIZE FOR SAYING IT. SO JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE.

Mom: SUPERTASTERS ARE AWESOME, SO STOP SAYING THEY AREN'T. THEY ARE. THE END.

Plane Guy: WTF IF YOU HAVE TIME TO ANSWER MY EMAIL, YOU HAVE TIME TO TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THE WEBSITE LAYOUTS. I DON'T HAVE TO CALL YOU TOMORROW, THAT'S STUPID. NOW I'M AFRAID YOU HATED IT. THANKS A LOT.

Okay, I'm done.

That felt good.